


retrospect

by BeStillMySlashyHeart, reachedthebitterend



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25672351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: “I don’t have the time to go into the full explanation, but I am Alex,” he says. “Your Alex, just from a couple of years into the future.”
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 12
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> found this old collab on tumblr that never made its way to ao3 so here you go

Michael is just pulling the clean shirt over his head and resigning himself to the fact that he’s going to be listening to some old guy with a Russian accent read a boring book on the drive to Texas when there is a rapid knocking on his door.

He frowns, knowing that it’s not Max, since he said he was going to drop his jeep off at home and wait for Michael to pick him up, and wonders who the hell it could be.

Alex is the last person that he’s expecting on the other side of his door.

Especially after his parting words of, _sometimes the world ends with a whimper, Guerin_.

But it only takes him a second to realize that while the person standing in front of him, breathing like he’d run from the Wild Pony to his door, is undoubtedly Alex, it’s also _not_.

Michael doesn’t wait for him to catch his breath. He pushes him backwards with a thought, and Alex just looks exasperated than surprised.

“Who are you?” He asks, holding his hand out, just in case.

Alex rolls his eyes, and breathes in deeply before he starts to speak. 

“I don’t have the time to go into the full explanation, but I am Alex,” he says. “ _Your_ Alex, just from a couple of years into the future.”

Michael stares at him for a moment, and then his phone vibrates in the pocket of his jeans reminding him that he’s got plans that don’t involve whatever is going on right now.

“Prove it,” he says.

Alex just rolls his eyes again, like he was expecting it, and just pulls something out of his pocket and throws it at Michael.

It’s small, and Michael catches it against his chest before he can make out what it is.

He lets it fall into the palm of his hand and feels the shock sink through him as he feels the soft smooth surface, and then he looks down and sees the shimmering ball in his hand. A piece of the alien console that he knows would be impossible to get unless he had manipulated to keep its shape.

He looks up at Alex with wide eyes, and Alex just nods his head, like he’s answering the question that Michael hasn’t asked.

“How long?” Michael demands, wrapping his fingers tightly around the small shimmering orb.

“Current me has known for months,” he confirms what Michael had been dreading in the back of his mind, that Alex had pushed him away, again because he knew the truth.

“No,” Alex says, and Michael looks up to him confused. “Current me is suffering from PTSD and cannot actually have a conversation without planning it down to the last word. You’re not good at reading those signs yet. But you get there.”

Michael looks at him, swallowing hard. “So it’s not over?”

Alex exhales, and looks away from Michael briefly, before looking back at him.

“It’s not going to get any easier,” he says. “And it’s not going to hurt any less. It’s going to be painful and you’re going to hate me-”

Michael shakes his head and takes a step towards Alex, stepping out from the doorway and down into the ground. “That would _never_ happen.”

Alex just gives him a look like he concedes the point, “Okay, fine, you make me think that you hate me. The point is that it’s going to get harder, and I’m going to keep pushing you away in my attempts to keep you safe, and you’re just going to think that it’s because I don’t love you-”

“You love me?” Michael asks unable to help himself.

Alex gives him a slightly exasperated look. “Of course I do, more than anything in the universe, but that doesn’t mean that I’m always going to be a rational, clear headed person. We both have traumas that we need to deal with. You especially, since you don’t actually deal with anything, at all, ever.”

Michael wants to protest, but before he can, Alex is raising a hand. “I’m not here to play therapist, or even relationship counselor. We plotted out the course of everything that happened, and this is one of the early turning points, and you’re the only person that I could think of who at this point in time would be in the position to actually do something about it.”

Michael blinks at him in confusion, and Alex just inhales deeply.

“Okay,” he says. “I know this is going to be really hard to believe, and I don’t actually have any proof with me, but you have to trust that I’m telling you the truth.”

Michael just keeps looking at him, and Alex swallows hard.

“Noah is an alien,” he says, and Michael freezes staring at him in disbelief. “The fourth alien, which Liz is going to figure out that there is a fourth alien. And I know you _know_ that Isobel wasn’t the one who killed Rosa. You told me that you saw it in her eyes. So please, you _have_ to believe me. He’s an alien and he’s going to try to keep his identity a secret for as long as he can, but he’s playing with you all, and he’s going to make a mistake and it’s going to kill him, but you can’t let that happen. He’s evil and we’re happy that he’s dead. But he has knowledge that you need before it’s too late.”

Michael just continues to blink at him in confusion, but before he can say anything else, his phone vibrates again in his pocket.

He shakes his head, and swallows hard. “I don’t have time for this right now-”

Alex nods his head sharply, “Fine, I’ll be back later.”

“I’m going out of town for the day, maybe the night,” Michael finds himself saying. “So later today, is not really an option.”

Alex tilts his head at him. “Where are you going?”

“Texas?” Michael says, more like a question than a statement.

Alex’s face clears like he finally understands something, and before Michael can ask him to share with the class, Alex is stepping forward and reaching for him, hands curling into the collar of his shirt as he drags him in close and presses their mouths together into a harsh kiss that’s all teeth and tongue. The type that leaves you feeling it for _hours_ afterwards.

He pulls away, and presses his forehead to Michael’s and whispers, “Don’t-” almost like it’s torn out of him.

“Don’t what?” Michael asks in a soft voice.

Alex just shakes his head and pulls away from him, letting him go and taking a few steps backwards.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, swallowing hard, before he lifts his arm to his face, and Michael sees him looking at the surface of a strange, thick, square shaped watch, strapped to his wrist. “I’ll see you in a bit. It may take a bit longer for you.”

Before Michael can ask him what he means, Alex presses a button on his watch, and there is a sound like lightning crashing, and then he disappears, leaving behind smoke that dissipates just as quickly.

Michael feels like the whole thing was a hallucination, if it wasn’t for the fact that he could still feel Alex’s mouth on his.

Michael’s phone starts to vibrate again in his pocket and he sighs, closing his door behind himself and walking towards the truck.

He’ll deal with it later, especially the Noah thing.

Right now, there’s a faith healer to visit in Texas and a sister to save.


	2. Chapter 2

The drive was in fact filled with the sound of some old guy with a Russian accent reading a boring book but Michael didn’t hear it. His mind was going a million miles an hour, replaying his conversation with Alex, future Alex at that. On the heels of present day Alex telling him the world ends in a whimper, the imprint of future Alex’s lips on his was jarring. He’d just started trying to convince himself that it was over for good and now he honestly didn’t know what to think. He had no idea how they could get from where they were today to where they were whenever future Alex had come from.

“You listening to me at all?” Max asked in a huff. Michael glanced at him briefly before turning back to the road. The truck was silent and Michael had to wonder when Max had turned his audiobook off.

“Sorry. Thinking.”

Max didn’t reply right away. “We’ll figure something out. If this faith healer doesn’t work, we’ll find something else. Isobel will be okay,” he clapped a hand on Michael’s shoulder in what Michael was sure he thought was a reassuring gesture.

Michael nodded and shoved all thoughts of Alex to the back of his mind. Right now, Isobel needed to be his focus. He could worry about his love life, if he had one, later.

-

Later came sooner than he’d thought. Michael had done a pretty good job of not thinking about Alex all day. Not even when he’d had to use his mangled hand to try and get an in with the healer.

In fact, it wasn’t until he was drunk and lost in the desert with Maria DeLuca’s lips pressed against his that he remembered.

 _Don’t_ …

Alex’s voice was a faint echo in his head but it was enough to startle him away from Maria. Alex had sounded _wrong_ when he’d said that, right after he’d kissed Michael. Which he only did after Michael told him he was going to Texas…

“What?” Maria asked, her shirt tucked up just under her breasts where Michael had shoved it before stopping. “What’s wrong?”

Michael shook his head and took a step back, their hand falling away from each other. “This is a bad idea.”

Maria flinched, her hands coming up to tug down the hem of her shirt. “Yeah.” She looked around for her jacket and scooped it off of the ground. “Yeah. Drunken hookups are never a good idea with people you know.” She didn’t quite look at him as she shrugged the jacket on.

“I don’t know, I think it would’ve been pretty hot,” Michael teased, trying to dispel the sudden tension between them. A moment ago, it had all seemed so easy. Sex was something he knew.

This wasn’t.

Maria attempted a smile. “But it’s a bad idea.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed as he grabbed his shirt and jacket, tugging one on then the other. “It’s not you, it’s-”

“ _Really_?” Maria stared at him as she held out his hat. “You’re giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech? Are you serious?”

Michael struggled to find something to say before giving her a shrug. “It’s not because you’re not hot.”

Maria rolled her eyes and wrapped her blanket around herself. “Thanks? Let’s just find the bar, okay?” Michael watched her walk away, half cursing himself for turning her down. But he just had to think of the look on Alex’s face when he’d said he was going to Texas and he knew he’d made the right choice. One night with Maria wasn’t worth that look on Alex’s face, ever.

-

Alex’s truck kicked up a spray of dust as he pulled out of the scrapyard. Michael watched him go from the front step of his trailer, wondering where he’d gone wrong.

It had started off promising. Alex had told him he’d loved him, had wanted to get to know him, had _listened_ to him. But the second he’d seen his lab, seen Michael’s reality, he’d spooked.

Alex’s car was barely out of sight when lightning crashed to his left and Alex appeared in a puff of smoke.

Michael let out a groan and dropped his head between his arms. “Can we not do this right now?”

Alex didn’t listen, his footsteps creeping closer. “How was Texas?”

“Why’d you leave?” Michael shot back, his head snapping up to stare at him. “I thought you said you loved me, that you already knew about the alien thing.”

“I did. I do.”

Michael flung a hand at the exit his Alex had just fled through. “Then why’d you run? Again?”

Alex glanced around the scrapyard. “You just showed me your ship.”

“So what, it was fine knowing about me in theory but seeing proof was just too much?”

Alex stared at him. “No,” _you idiot_ , remained silent but heavily implied. “You showed me the spaceship you’ve been working on for ten years trying to get back to your home planet. I told you I loved you and you told me you were planning to leave Earth. I need processing time, okay?” Alex shook his head. “But I’m not here to talk about us. We need to talk about Noah.”

“I kissed Maria in Texas,” Michael blurted out.

Alex blinked. “You- you _kissed_ her?”

“Yeah,” Michael let out a slow breath. “That’s it.” He watched Alex carefully for a reaction and he wasn’t disappointed. His face went slack in surprise and then his eyes lit up before he could school his expression. “I take it I did more than kiss her in your timeline?” Alex clenched his jaw before giving him a sharp nod. Michael nodded back. “Well I guess that’s one less thing to make our lives harder?”

“Um,” Alex cleared his throat. “I mean-” he closed his eyes briefly. “I’m not here to tell you what to do Michael or who to be with. Texas was- it wasn’t _that_ that was the pro-” he cut himself off. He cleared his throat again as he rubbed a hand across his forehead. “We need to talk about Noah,” he said firmly, effectively cutting off any attempt of Michael to keep the topic on them.

“Alright,” Michael agreed. “Tell me about Noah.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So let me get this straight,” Michael starts.

“ _Can_ you get anything straight?” Alex responds immediately, and bites down on his lip, like he hadn’t meant to say that.

Michael just finds his lips twitching, but he just rolls his eyes goodnaturedly and continues to speak.

“You want me to get Noah to spill his guts about everything he knows about my people and the Alighting, but not to let him know that I know that he’s the one killing people or that I know that he’s been possessing people, one of who happens to be Isobel?”

“We talked about this,” Alex says, and Michael knows that he means he’s talked about it with future versions of himself and his siblings. “Isobel agreed that the best way to get the information is to be as clueless as possible.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Michael says scoffing and thinking about how Isobel _and_ Max would react if he didn’t tell them about Noah. “You’re not the one who’s going to have to deal with the fallout.”

Alex just rolls his eyes a little, “I’m not telling you not to tell _Isobel_ the truth. I’m just saying that the best way to do this is if Noah doesn’t know that you know.”

Michael gives him a look, still not understanding _how_ he’s supposed to do that exactly. 

Sure, he may have hung out with Noah once in a while, but that was usually either accompanied by Isobel or Max or both. He’s not exactly sure how he’s going to get Noah to tell him that he’s an alien when he doesn’t even really know anything about him.

“How exactly am I supposed to let Noah know that I know that he’s an alien, without telling him the truth? If what you’re saying is true then he must know we’re trying to figure out the truth.”

Alex inclines his head slightly, and just reaches into his jacket pocket and he pulls out a small metallic device that looks to be about as long as his thumb, and he pushes down on a button and the whole thing starts flashing green.

He tosses it to Michael, who catches it, and flinches a little, when the light turns bright red, flashing and vibrating at a low frequency. 

He manages to find the button that Alex had pushed and turns off the device, turning it over in his hands and looking at it carefully before looking back up to Alex and raising an eyebrow.

“So we use alien tech in the future?”

Alex rolls his eyes again. “Sort of. You and Liz took a whole bunch of blueprints and managed to create a couple of things that helped.”

“Helped with what?” Michael asks, and sees how Alex’s face shutters. “You say you’re here to change the future, but you won’t tell me what kind of future we’re living in that needs saving. You-”

He licks his lips, and Alex just stares at him expectantly.

“You kissed me like you were trying to convince me that you love me without saying a word, and say things like we actually manage to have a conversation without you running away, but that’s not what just happened.”

Alex looks at him for a long moment before he exhales roughly. “There’s no point in telling you what happens, because we’re hoping to avoid it, and saying it is like speaking it into the future. It’s why I stopped myself from telling you anything earlier. The less you know the better it will be.”

Michael shakes his head, and is opening his mouth to answer, when a car driving towards them catches his attention. His eyes go a little wide as he recognizes Alex, present day Alex, who had walked away not even an hour ago, and looks back to other Alex, who turns to see what is freaking him out and then moves before Michael can say anything, ducking towards the front of the Airstream and out of sight.

Michael exhales roughly and wonders if this whole day is going to be him dealing with one Alex and then a completely different one.

Present Alex gets out of his car, slamming the door behind himself and he looks a little surprised to see Michael sitting in one of the lawnchairs, probably expecting him to still be in the bunker.

He stalks forward purposely and stops right next to the same chair Future Alex had been sitting in.

He stares at Michael intently, but Michael speaks before he can say anything.

“Usually I have to wait five to ten business days _at least_ to see you again after you walk away.”

His voice is just sarcastic enough that he sees the irritation crossing over Alex’s face before he covers it up and takes a step forward.

“Why are you trying to leave?” he demands, voice breaking a little before he swallows hard and keeps talking. “You told me once that you have people here that still need you, and yet, you’ve been working on building a spaceship this whole time? How can you be so mad that I left when you’ve been planning to leave the planet?”

Michael shakes his head and pushes himself out of his seat, giving Alex a slightly incredulous look.

“I’m not trying to leave,” he says in an obvious tone. “Sometimes I go in there and stare at the console and convince myself that I can, that I _will_ just to make it through the bad days, but I wouldn’t know the first thing about flying a spaceship or even about where to go. It’s a pipedream.”

“Oh,” Alex says, and looks away from him like trying to figure out how to get the argument back on track.

“Now I have a question for you,” he says, and Alex looks back to him surprised. 

“Do you love me?” he asks, and Alex flinches backwards like he wasn’t expecting the question.

“How can you ask me that?” Alex asks, disbelief coloring his tone.

Michael just scoffs. “Because I don’t know.”

“I _just_ told you that I did-” Alex starts incensed.

“No,” Michael says cutting him off. “You said that you _loved_ me, past tense.”

“Jesus Christ Guerin, this is a verbal conversation not an English exam!”

“You’re still not answering the question.”

“Why do you want to know?” Alex asks taking steps towards him, and Michael matches him until they’re both standing too close, and yet not close enough.

“Don’t you think that I deserve to know? After everything we’ve been through. Can’t you just once tell me how you feel about me? Instead of just expecting me to know.”

Alex just makes a low frustrated sound and pushes Michael backwards a little, fingers tangling in the collar of his shirt so that he doesn’t actually stagger backwards.

“You are infuriating, and the biggest asshole that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting, but for some reason, I’ve been in love with you since I was seventeen, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change.”

Michael freezes for a second, not really expecting Alex to actually say the words.

Alex shakes him a little, looking a little panicked. “I love you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I fucking love-”

Michael moves fast, wrapping his fingers in Alex’s hair and tugging him in for a kiss.

Alex responds immediately, hands dragging into his hair and holding on tight as he kisses Michael back.

Future Alex had kissed him like he had a point to prove, but this Alex, _his_ Alex, kisses him like he’s been dying without him the whole entire time they’ve been apart, and Michael can really relate to that feeling.

Alex pulls back, parting their mouths on a gasp to breathe, and his eyes flutter open, and he looks at Michael like he can’t believe that that just happened.

“What about Maria?” he asks, and then shuts his eyes tightly like he can’t believe he said that.

Michael just shakes his head and tugs against Alex’s hair until he opens his eyes again.

“Nothing happened between us,” he says as serious as he can. “It was just a kiss.”

Alex licks his lips, swallowing. “I know that. She told me. But I know you, you _like_ her.”

Michael doesn’t deny that. He drags his hands down to the back of Alex’s neck, and leans in a bit closer, making sure that all of Alex’s attention is on him, even though it already is.

“I do,” he confirms, and tightens his hold when Alex moves like he’s going to pull away, not hiding the hurt in his eyes, the same look that Michael wanted to prevent ever crossing his face. “But not enough to hurt you.”

Alex freezes in his hold, and just stares at Michael.

“I love you too, you know?” Michael states when Alex doesn’t move or say anything.

Alex jumps in his hold like he hadn’t been expecting the words, and he blinks at Michael a few more times, before a sweet smile crosses his face, making him look all of seventeen years old, and he leans close, pressing their foreheads together.

“I know,” he says, voice full of happy disbelief.

Michael just rolls his eyes a little, and kisses him again.


	4. Chapter 4

A clatter of metal falling over breaks them apart. Alex was instantly on guard, his hand going to the gun tucked away at the small of his back as he made for the front of the Airstream. Michael was still a little dazed from the kiss and didn’t realize the danger until Alex asked, “is there anyone else here?”

The words jolted him into motion. “Wait, Alex!” He yelled as he tripped over himself hurrying after him. He was too late. He knew it the second Alex froze.

“…what?” Alex stared beyond the Airstream, unflinching as Michael came up behind him. In front of them, Future Alex sat on the ground next to a messy pile of spare parts that Michael knew had been carefully arranged earlier that day. He had a hand on his wrist like he was about to disappear again and Michael thoughtlessly pulled the watch towards him, yanking it just out of Alex’s reach right as he tried to hit the button.

“Nuhuh,” he grabbed the watch out of the air. “You are not leaving me here to explain this.”

“… _what_?” The Alex next to him asked again.

Michael waved a hand at the Alex on the ground. “Meet…you. He’s from the future.” Both Alex’s turned to him, identical unimpressed looks on their faces. Alex paused for a moment before making his way slowly to Future Alex and holding out his hand. 

“I know that look,” he muttered. “Bad day?”

Future Alex took the proffered hand and let his past self haul him to his feet. “Guerin?” His Alex asked, sparing a glance to make sure he had his attention. “There’s a crutch in my car.” 

Michael quickly grabbed it and brought it over, Future Alex taking it from him gratefully. “Jumping through time is hell on the legs, who knew?” When he was steady, Michael and Alex both took a step back.

“Okay. Now. Someone explain what the hell is going on,” Alex ordered.

Michael gestured to Future Alex. “All yours.”

“Short version?” Future Alex asked.

“Sure,” Alex agreed. They’d turned to each other, both ignoring Michael for the time being. It was giving Michael ideas. Future Alex flicked his eyes over to him like he knew what Michael was thinking and Michael quickly shelved the idea.

“Alright,” Future Alex sighed. “Isobel’s husband is an alien, from the same planet as Michael and the others. Unfortunately, he’s a bit of an evil dickbag and he’s been possessing Isobel off and on for about 15 years. He killed Rosa,” he added quietly. “We need to find out everything he knows about something called the Alighting and get him to spill as much we can about their home world.”

“Why the time travel?”

“Because by my time Noah is dead and we didn’t get anything out of him.”

“So, what? You’re going to interrogate him and then go back to the future?” Future Alex hesitated. “You are going back, right? If not, what’s the point of this?”

“The point is to change it,” Future Alex snapped. “I can’t tell you what the future’s like, I haven’t told Michael anything either, but I need you to trust me. You need to know what Noah knows.”

“And we have to do it without him realizing we’re interrogating him,” Michael added.

“Ideally.”

Alex sighed. “And I thought today would be boring.”

—

Michael kept glancing behind him as they made their way to the caves. Future Alex had been insistent that they go see Isobel right then and had pestered them until they got into the truck and drove off.

“How are you doing?” Michael had asked Alex once they were on their way, Future Alex safely in the back, giving them a modicum of privacy.

“Oh you know,” Alex had shrugged. “Not every day you find out the man you love is building a spaceship, kissed your best friend, and doubted that you love him. Not to mention the surprise alien brother in law who killed one of my best friends.”

Michael paused and considered. Alex was, in fact, having a tough day. And he hadn’t even touched on the obvious. “And…”

“And my future self is sitting six feet behind me but I’m mostly trying to ignore that,” Alex finished. He paused. “You aren’t though, are you?”

“What do you mean?”

Alex gave him a look. “I’m not having sex with myself,” he stated simply.

Michael jerked the wheel in surprise. “I didn’t ask you to!”

“But you thought it.”

“Well, yeah, of course I did. Only an idiot wouldn’t with there suddenly being two of you right in front of me.”

The conversation had died pretty quickly after that and they made it to the mines without bringing it up again. It was only when they parked the car next to Max’s that Alex spoke again. “So, what exactly is the plan here? Surprise, I know everything and oh yeah there’s two of me?”

Future Alex glowered. “I was planning to leave it to Michael.”

Michael scoffed. “Yeah, no. Group effort from here on out. Come on.”

Neither Alex spoke again as Michael led them into the caves. He wasn’t entirely sure why Future Alex had insisted on coming out here now, it’s not like they could talk to Isobel while she was in the pod, but he hadn’t argued. 

The wooden ‘door’ was propped up against the rock so Michael just walked right in, two sets of identical footsteps following closely behind. He followed the familiar path until he finally saw the glow of the pods.

“It worked,” Max’s breathless voice carried down the twisting corridor. “It worked.” Michael hurried up.

“What wor- _Isobel_?” His sister was wrapped up in a blanket, shaking in Max’s arms. Liz sat next to them, a relieved smile on her face.

“We figured it out!” She told him. “She’s okay.”

Michael fell onto his knees next to his siblings and wrapped his arms around them both. 

“…Alex?” Liz asked after a beat. Michael felt Max pull away from the embrace and look behind him.

“You told him?” Max accused.

“Not exactly.” It was strange that Michael could tell the difference between the two Alex’s just by the way they talked but he did. Any doubt he’d had that it was Future Alex was immediately assuaged by the way Max tensed and Liz gasped. 

“What’s going on?” Isobel asked weakly. Michael shifted so that she could see behind him. Both Alex’s stood in the entrance to the cave, his Alex staring at the pods in wonder while Future Alex seemed to be bracing himself for an explosive reaction.

“Isobel,” Future Alex said. “Welcome back. We need to talk about your husband.”


End file.
